10 Bucks Worth of an Interview from Racetrack
by SPOTTY
Summary: Lilah Delilah yet again. *Sniffs* Here it is. Another interview. Don't read this one. *Sniffs*


1 $10 Worth of an Interview from Racetrack  
  
Interview Done By: Lilah Delilah… or me… Katie Louden  
  
Cameraman: Rob-Roy Fingerhead *ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*  
  
Extras: Spot, Pie Eater  
  
This is the second interview I've written. For the record, I LOVE Max Casella (Racetrack) and what I say in here is completely fictional, obviously. Well… please R & R!  
  
Oh, and ONE last thing; When I do the whole "ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!" bit, it's from the television show "The Monkees". There was a guy in it and every time they said his name, the guys would go, "ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!" I just think it's cute. *Grins*   
  
  
  
Lilah Delilah: Hello all. Lilah Delilah here. Today is a special day, as all are. I am here to interview Racetrack, who happened to be in the last interview I had with Spot Conlon. Right now, I am here in an abandoned warehouse to talk to Racetrack.  
  
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: I'm here too.  
  
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*  
  
Racetrack Higgins: I don't wanna be here!  
  
Lilah: *Puts finger to lips* Let us begin our interview. *Gives Racetrack a dollar*  
  
Racetrack: *Looks at dollar and takes it* Right. Go 'head.  
  
Lilah: What's your full name Mr. Race?  
  
Racetrack: Racetrack.  
  
Lilah: *Scrunches face* Full name? *Gives Racetrack another dollar*  
  
Racetrack: Racetrack Maxwell Higgins.  
  
Lilah: *Nods* Very interesting. *Gets close to Racetrack* You are friends of both the leader of Manhattan and the leader of Brooklyn, are you not?  
  
Racetrack: *Nods*  
  
Lilah: *Gives Racetrack another dollar*  
  
Racetrack: Right. Spot and…  
  
Lilah: The leader of Brooklyn, who I happened to interview last, if you missed the first time I said that.  
  
Racetrack: *Glares* Uh, right. Me and Jack have been friends since we was like 10. Jack took me ta meet Spot when he became da leada' in Brooklyn, about 2 years ago.  
  
Lilah: Wow.  
  
*Silence*  
  
Racetrack: Can I go now?  
  
Lilah: Do you have a pet? *Hands Racetrack yet another dollar*  
  
Racetrack: *Grins* No. We ain't aloud ta have dogs in da…  
  
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: Hey, have you guys ever seen that commercial with the talking dog in the truck and he drives the car into a lake with his owner screaming, "MOTHER OF PEARL!" and…  
  
Lilah: Shut up! *Grins at camera* Now Race, is there a certain type of cheese that you enjoy eating?  
  
Racetrack: *Puzzled* Cheese?  
  
Lilah: Why yes, I happen to be a cheddar cheese girl ma'self! *Laughs uncontrollably*  
  
Racetrack: Right.  
  
Lilah: *Serious* Next question, where were you born?  
  
Racetrack: Here.  
  
*Door flies open and Spot Conlon enters*  
  
Spot Conlon: Neva' fear, I am here! *Looks around* Where's da fire?  
  
Lilah: My-o-my-o, look who it is! It's Spot Conlon, the young man I interviewed last.  
  
*Pie Eater romps inside*  
  
Pie Eater: Hi.  
  
Lilah: *Confused* Who are you?  
  
Pie Eater: I'm Pie Eater.  
  
Lilah: Are you a newsie?  
  
Pie Eater: *Nods* I'm the most famous one of all.  
  
Spot and Racetrack: And he loves interviews!  
  
Pie Eater: What?  
  
Spot: Would you like ta be famous Pie?  
  
Pie Eater: *Confused*  
  
Lilah: No no! This is Racetrack! Everyone out!  
  
Pie Eater: Huh?  
  
Lilah: *Gives Pie Eater and Spot a dollar each*  
  
Pie Eater and Spot: Bye. *Exit with dollars*  
  
Racetrack: *Sighs* What friends I got.  
  
Lilah: *Ignores Racetrack's last remark* If there was one thing you could wish would come true Mr. Racetrack, what would it be?  
  
Racetrack: I'd like ta leave. *Raises eyebrows*  
  
Lilah: *Sighs* Here. *Gives Racetrack a dollar* I don't have much more money left dear.  
  
Racetrack: *Snickers* Go on. I don't got a lot'a time.  
  
Lilah: Where does the Man on the Moon come from?  
  
Racetrack: Da moon?  
  
Lilah: Hm… interesting. Do you recall the story of The Three Pigs?  
  
Racetrack: Da Tree LITTLE Pigs ya mean?  
  
Lilah: Ah. *Nods* Intriguing.  
  
Racetrack: *Confused* I'm just a bit lost.  
  
Lilah: *Gives Racetrack a dollar* Have you found your way?  
  
Racetrack: Ya can't pay me ta remember but, uh, sure.  
  
Lilah: Wow. Well, I can buy $10 worth of your time can't I? Then I can leave.  
  
Racetrack: Well…  
  
Lilah: *Squints* And what is your current marital status Mr. Racetrack? I'm single. *Winks*  
  
Racetrack: Well I'm, uh… *Looks around for a safe answer* *Thinks* *Lies* I'm gay.  
  
Lilah: *Pulls herself back* Ah. Interesting. *Looks down at clipboard in hand*  
  
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: Hey, have you guys seen that commercial where the two…  
  
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*  
  
Lilah: Shut up Rob-Roy Fingerhead!  
  
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!  
  
Racetrack: Is something wrong Lilah? *Chuckles*  
  
Lilah: What? No.  
  
Racetrack: Ask away den my dear.  
  
Lilah: *Looks around* OK. Let's see. *Glances at clipboard and shakes head* No. Uh, *shakes head* no. Where do you, uh, *shakes head* no.  
  
Racetrack: How old are you Lilah?  
  
Lilah: *Raises an eyebrow* *Gives Racetrack a dollar* Don't ask. *Serious* Let's take a look at your childhood, shall we?  
  
Racetrack: Sure.  
  
*Silence*  
  
Racetrack: Well?  
  
Lilah: Uh, what were your parents like?  
  
Racetrack: *Shrugs* I don't member.  
  
Lilah: *Nods*  
  
*Silence*  
  
Racetrack: *Sighs* I'm not gay. *Mumbles* I guess lying doesn't help wit dis goil.  
  
Lilah: *Grins* Great! *Stares lovingly into the camera* Not that I have anything against homosexuals. *Serious* Racetrack, one wish, a real wish this time, what would it be?  
  
Racetrack: Can I have anudda' dollar?  
  
Lilah: Of course my dear. *Gives Racetrack a dollar*  
  
Racetrack: *Takes all of the dollars from his pocket* Here. *Hands dollars to Lilah* Here is $8 worth'a my time, plus da 2 bucks youse gave ta Pie and Spot. Now go to da train station and buy a ticket to a far away place. *Leaves*  
  
Lilah: *Pouts* Well, that tears it folks. *Sniffs* This is Lilah Delilah signing off. Oh, this was great. If you're just joining us, that's it. I interviewed Racetrack Higgins. *Sniffs* I hope you didn't mean to miss this one, but you're lucky you did. Good-bye and have a great life… with your loved ones. *Bursts into tears*  
  
WILL LILAH DELILAH GET OVER RACETRACK'S COMMENT AND MOVE ON TO A NEW NEWSIE TO INTERVIEW?!  
  
… Of course. 


End file.
